Heartache and starting over.

I've never really blogged before but I guess now as good a time as any. I recently uprooted my family and moved to utah. We had been In twin lakes wi for about four years, it was nice I liked it I had some great friends and my husbands family was close. I met a girl and fell in love she was my best friend or so I thought. From day one we hit it off we were insanely close like sisters and I couldn't imagine life with out her. Then things changed I literally destroyed my life to help her and all I got was used and thrown away like yesterday's garabage. For awhile I kept thinking " what did I do wrong, why couldn't I fix everything". I soon came to realized that I didn't do anything wrong and no matter how hard I tried you can't fix what doesn't want to be fixed and in trying so hard to fix it I broke everything else in my life. Which brings me to the move. In trying to help this friend her s.o took it upon himself to make our lives a living hell trying to destroy my family from every possible angle. Trying to mess with my husbands jobs having our house raided for coke by the police and child services which is funny since to be honest I've never even seen it in real life. And even went so far as the threaten the life's of my family and attacked my husband to where he had to defend himself with a weapon. At this point my child was so afraid that we hadn't left the house in months and every time someone would knock on our door he would hide of fear that the bad man was coming to get us all I had no choice. So with no money I packed what I could fit in my two door hatch back and left. I lost everything but a few suitcases of clothes to protect the lives of my family and I. Utah has been great my family is here and has help me regain some sanity in my life. My little sister who has been and always will be my best friend has helped me most of all. She made the courageous decision to go on a mission. Yesterday we dropped her off at the mtc People told me it would be harder on us than her but I had no idea just how hard. I feel like I've lost a peice of me not being able to just talk to her is hell. I didn't realize how much I needed her in my life just how much she keeps me sane. I know what she is doing is the most important thing she will ever do. It's just hard not to be selfish. Right now I feel like I'm falling apart without her in time it will be easier and I know she is just fine. I think this will help. I've always had her to talk to about everything and now that she's gone I guess I'll just pretend this blog is her lol so there it is I'm starting over with a heavy heart rebuilding my life from the bottom up again I've got a roof over my had and a happy family I've got nowhere but up to go!